Your body language conveys apathy and indifference. The idea behind active listening is not to strain â¦ You also need to create a feedback loop to allow them to describe their understanding of a particular project and what it means to them. 2. What about notes?Do you really need to take notes? Excellent example Ram. Listening to understand versus listening to respond. That includes, not thinking about how youâre going to reply when another person is talking. We hear some things and we start forming our response based on those things while ignoring others. I figured it was probably just a cute play on words. Are You Listening to Respond or Listening to Understand? You may also be restless (taping your fingers/toes, etc). You can say what has been said “verbatim” if someone asks you what was said. DuringÂ crafting the working agreements, whenÂ Â I meant “listen”, it was “listen to understand the other person” (or at least that was my unsaid assumption thatÂ had worked quite well many times). Shut out everything. The listening process involves five stages: receiving, understanding, evaluating, remembering, and responding. Even when the other person wants some acknowledgement or clarification, you withdraw yourself, because you know that anything you say or do will be and can be used against you. us are listening to reply and not listening to understand. We listen to others during meetings, in everyday conversations, we listen to our boss, our coworkers, our subordinates, Â parents, to kids, to friends and our spouses. Put everything down. Initially, they were shorter, I did not mind it, and Jack did not too, but when it started getting longer and louder, I visibly saw Jack getting irritated and I reminded both of them about working agreements, to give space to the other person to talk. D) active listening. October 31, 2018 Hacks deborah It is normal to listen to what others are saying and thinking about how we are going to respond. Depending upon the individual, it could be between a few seconds to up to a minute. Sometimes, we ourselves are not consciously aware if we are just listening to respond or listening to understand. Hence it is easy to know if someone is listening to understand or listening to respond. Listen to the content of their speech. If you find yourself clarifying your notes instead of listening, stop immediately. If you are listening and responding from a place of anger and defensiveness (without being aware of this), you are much less likely to hear or respond constructively in the conversation. Not to respond. You are curious. As the other person is speaking, is that little voice in your head preparing your next response? We filter what we hear based on our core beliefs and we donât take into consideration what that person is trying to say. Required fields are marked *. When you listen, make sure you understand exactly what the person is trying to convey. Inattentive listening or reading can cause us to miss much of what the speaker is sharing with us. Answer: A Explanation: A) With content listening, the listener's primary focus is simply in comprehending what the speaker is saying. 28) If you are listening mainly to understand the speaker's message, you are engaging in A) content listening. You have to formulate and restate what they have told you in your head until it makes perfect sense to you. First, a study at Princeton University (âSpeaker-Listener Neural Coupling Underlies Successful Communication,â by Charles G. Gross, June 19, 2010) found that there is a lag between what you hear and what you understand. Pay attention to both the â¦ If you are watching the news, listening â¦ We listen to reply,â Stephen Covey. Admit your faults and discuss what you can do better in â¦ Using body language and other signs to acknowledge you are listening can also help you to pay attention. C) empathic listening. Your mind wanders to other thoughts. Ask the person to follow-up with their points in writing, if necessary. Beyond who we are as â¦ Our brain has some inbuilt circuitry (mirror neurons) to think and feel what the other person might be thinking and feeling. So when youâre arguing with your parents, your sibling, your friend, your significant other, or whoever, remember this. By understanding body language more effectively, we can decrease our chances of being misunderstood. Sometimes you have to follow your dreams. You catch yourself when your thoughts are wandering and bring your focus back to the conversation.